Lost in Paradise

So here I am again, feeling the need to blog about stuff, who knew.

Lately I have been trying to lose weight and I don’t know what to do. It’s like I have no motivation and just keep repeating the past. I bought  weight watcher stuff again, and lost the motivation to do that, all because I had one bad week. Which happened to be the first week and I didn’t lose weight and I got depressed and figured I wouldn’t lose weight so I quit.  Then though I feel horrible about myself and know I need to lose weight and the process repeats itself.

I know deep down what I want. I want to be able to look in the mirror again and not be disgusted with myself. Right now that is not what happens I look in the mirror most days and I want to cry or lay in bed all day and cry. It’s not healthy that’s for sure. I have all the stuff to do it, I am an able bodied person that has the ability to work out, and has or well can develop the skills to eat better. Some days though I feel as if I am addicted to fast food. Apparently its not that far fetched of a situation.

http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-an-Addiction-to-Fast-Food

So tonight I think I am going to do research on how to stop and get healthier, but for now I think my step one should be giving up pop and potatoes. They are two of my biggest vices, that I know I have to give up, so why not start now. I will carry water with me, and start to find snacks to satisfy cravings. It’s not going to be easier, but I need to see myself as beautiful and I can’t do that right now, and thats what I want. No matter what else happens in my life, I need to see myself  as pretty and be happy with me.