Today more so than ever, I am utterly mentally and otherwise exhausted. I have noticed lately that it has been an issue with no one ever taking me serious. The funny part is that I am not your comedian, your jokester, or someone that hasn’t been taken serious in the past. All I know is that it is starting to truly get under my skin. I have always been the type of person, to do what I say I am going to do, follow through and move on with life. What has changed?! Is it me, I wonder, or are these past few months just horribly bad all around?! Let us examine, shall we.
I decided early on, no matter what was going on outside of my education that I would not lack in that department. I followed through on that. I graduated High School with honors, went to a two year college got my Associates in Applied Science, and now have a great job with the same company for four years.
I have a place of my own, a car of my own and pay for it all by myself. So Screw whoever you are that thinks I can’t do whatever I want. Because I can and I will.
No on to a more pressing matter that may or may not link with what I just wrote. Oh how to even start I was in what turned out to be an unhealthy relationship for almost two years. Recently we have had our issues, on and off again. Really just trying to work through things, because despite everything We loved each other. Then last night I get an email. In this email, it tells me basically all the issues were my fault, I’m immune to feeling, I’m difficult to love, oh but he still truly loves me, and then the kicker of it all …. He calls me a Cuntbag.
When in any sense have I been a cuntbag… Let me lay it out. I let you live with me, no rent, You ate my food, drove my car, and for a good portion didn’t work. But I loved you and we would be okay. Now is that a cuntbag? I stuck by you through all the craziness between meds, family drama, ex-gf drama, and the like, but I loved you so it would be okay. Now once again is that a cuntbag? I told you things I told no one else, I let you into my heart, I trusted you. Now Does that make me a cuntbag? All I wanted was for you to go to work everyday, pay your own bills, quit drinking like a alcoholic, and to be treated like someone you loved, not your weekend fling Now Seriously how in the hell does that make me a cuntbag? And if you think calling me a cuntbag, is going to win over my heart you are dead wrong, my friend. That was the last thing I want to ever hear from you.
I haven’t always had a good track record with being single, but once and for all I have determined that it’s better than being called names, and getting put down. I will one day find someone to love me the way I deserve. So you think I’m going to play your game, well WRONG…. GAME OVER!
Angel With the Scabbed Wings 